2nd Reason

Here we go, another reason to be depressed. Believe me, I’ve got plenty. This one is a bit embarrassing. More embarrassing than being overweight and addicted to chocolate, you ask? Well. Yeah.

You see, I have a crush on one of my friends. Now, if it wasn’t for the well known problem concerning friendships that develop into something more and then destroy said friendships when The Breakup happens, everything would be fine and dandy. Except this friend on whom I have a crush happens to be female. Just like me.

When I first realized that I was a little too attached to her, it really messed with my head. Like, what, 90% of the world’s population I, too, had always assumed that I was heterosexual, straight, whatever you want to call it. So when I realized that I may be a lesbian, I got a bit scared. Where I live there are literally no lesbian celebrities. None. Nada. Zilch. And people are generally pretty conservantive and, well, ignorant. For example, if we actually had anything like the Gay-Straight Alliance, people would automatically assume that anyone who was a member must be gay. Because no straight person would feel the need to join anything like that, because hardly anyone knows someone who’s not heterosexual. Get it? It’s just sad.

So anyway, back to my story. Somewhere in between panicking and looking up lesbian forums on the internet I realized that this crush I have on my friend is purely platonic. And that, in fact, anything I had ever felt for anyone has been purely platonic. And that’s even more sad. I have never once been sexually attracted to someone. Not ever. It’s like I’ll forever be a five-year-old.

That makes dating a bit hard. Because when there’s no sexuality involved you can’t really tell if you’d want to get to know someone before you get to know them.

Ah. This may come as a surprise to you, but it sucks.

E.

"Go away. I'm all right."
~ H. G. Wells, last words